High tea on the deck

Hopefully the Queen is not attending with that hair (and no shoes)! How uncivilized!

Library time

At the risk of totally jinxing myself, I have to report that Lily has done a complete turn-around over the past several days. I can't really take any credit; the change was far too immediate. But, I am so happy that my sunshiney girl is back! This phase could be temporary too, but I'm trying to be optimistic because for about the past four days Lily has been an absolute joy. I can't believe how wonderful she has been. If we say "no" to something, she does not lose all muscle tone and melt into a screaming, crying, red-faced ball of anger. She actually accepts it and moves on! AMAZING! She has been listening so well. I wish there was some way to convey to her how grateful I am for the recent change in behavior. She has been getting copious amounts of praise, so hopefully she gets how proud we are of her.

Her comments continue to make us smile as well:

• Today she scooped up a glob of peanut butter with her finger and said, "It's a hat for my finger."
• Carl got a glass of tea for me at dinner a couple of nights ago, and she said, "Say thank-you to daddy, mommy."
• About a week ago, she was playing in the family room while I was in the kitchen. The family room suddenly became much too quiet, so I called out to her. She answered by reassuring me, "I'm just readin' a book, mom." I was so shocked that she actually knew why I was calling her and then told me why she was quiet. She's becoming such a big girl!

Post-dinner playtime

Happy girl

Curly-Q

Playing with the Jack & Jill crown that she made at school

New game plan

On Tuesday night, Carl and I were afforded an hour of uninterrupted time to talk while Aunt Ingrid took care of Lily. Being of sound body and mind (most of the time), we figured we could come up with a strategy to help reduce the incidence of whining in our little one. Since I work with little ones (and talk with their families on a daily basis), I have a pretty good idea of what is typical for each age. We determined that Lily is not excessively tantrumy for her age, but that finding does not help in and of itself, it only frames the problem.

Ultimately, we decided that Lily that has too many choices throughout the day which can be overwhelming and lead to meltdowns. We chose to target mealtimes first since they have become a major time of contention lately. In the mornings, we would come downstairs and ask her what she wants for breakfast. Stepping back from the situation, I can see how overwhelming this simple question can be. There's cereal (different kinds of hot & cold), eggs, toast, bagels, waffles, pancakes, different fruits, yogurt, cottage cheese, and that's just some of the options that we would want her to choose. But, really, how would she know that ice cream, gummies, and chips are not viable options for breakfast? She was just providing an answer to a question. They are, after all, food items.

So, no surprise, the problem with Lily's behavior is really a problem with our approach as parents. The new strategy is to come downstairs and tell her what is for breakfast that morning. We have been doing this for only two days, but are two for two, so we're pretty excited. This morning, cold cereal was on the menu. At first she said that she didn't want it, but I went ahead and poured a bowl for each of us, sat down, and she dug right in and ate three bowls!!! This is a major victory, where ultimately everyone wins. And finally, we had a breakfast without a major meltdown!

I'm fully aware that this is not going to eliminate the tantrums all together, but the goal was to reduce them, and I think (hope) we are going to achieve that. To follow up with this idea, we have made a weekly menu board (pictured above) where we will put pictures of foods so that she can see what we are having for the week (starting with breakfast only). Eventually, I anticipate that she will be the one choosing the menu for the week which is what we want. We want her to be able to make healthy food choices on her own without being overwhelmed by the options. We'll see how it goes, but we're happy with a successful start.

The second part of our plan is to engage her in more active, physical play at night. She is such a rough-and-tumble girl. She loves it when we get on the floor and wrestle around with plenty of chasing, tickling, and giggling. This is the harder of the two adjustments for me since I am tired after a full day of working and really just want to sit and relax. But, I'm going to make a concerted effort in order to have more pleasant and enjoyable nights with Lily.

So, there it is. Our game plan. Don't bring problems without solutions, right?

My turn to whine

I think that my daughter has lost the ability to talk. Lately it seems that the only possible way for her to communicate is through high-pitched, drawn-out language commonly known as whining. She gets set off by everything: we won't let her put the button in her mouth, have ice-cream for breakfast, have two vitamins, or we have to brush her hair, put on/take off clothes, wipe her nose, eat breakfast... There is no doubt that she is frustrated by these things and that's ditto for us when she's putting up a fight. To top it off, mommy has to do everything. No one else can get her food, drink, put her to bed, play with her... Some days I go to work, and I'm already at the end of my chain (like today). I'm so mad and sad at the same time. Where did my sweet little girl go, and why has she been replaced with this temper-tantrum-prone girl? The truly hard part is when we get short periods of time when we interact, and she is just the best thing ever. She's smiley, giggly, loquacious, and all-around just fun to be with. But, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells during those times just waiting for the bubble to burst and for her to start melting down for some unforeseen reason. Right now it's really a guessing game: Could she be feeling tired/sick? I know that she's congested and had a hard time sleeping at night lately because of the drainage.... Or, is this just the age? A two-year-old time of constantly testing limits to find out how far over the edge she can push her parents... Or, is she feeling the upcoming changes in our lives as sharply as we are? Maybe she knows her life is about ready to be completely changed and rearranged... Likely, it is a combination of everything. I just keep thinking that maybe there is something more that I could have done, should be doing, I don't know. I'm at a loss.

Easter Fun

Easter loot (and impressive bed-head)

Woah!

Easter Egg Hunt #2

Cutie-tootie

"Hay-ving" fun (Carl made me do it.)

On your mark...

...Get set...

...Go!!

Match Day Aftermath

Check out this clip of Match Day at U of Maryland! We're in there (even though you can't see us). We are still reeling from the news, although my elation has turned into a complete nervous meltdown over finding a new job, new house, new daycare...is that all, you ask? No, I'm still nervous about selling our current house, packing, moving our things (and Lily!)....the list goes on and on...and my stomach turns and churns.

Mama, I'm comin' home!

Get our season passes for the MUNY, our membership to the Magic House, make reservations at Cunettos on the hill, get our free passes to the zoo, and mark your calendars for the next Monster Mash 'cause, baby, I'm goin' home! Carl got his first choice, Barnes Jewish Hospital in St. Louis!!! I think that I was the only person in the entire room that started crying before the envelopes were passed out and continued on for the next hour until the ceremony was over (and beyond). It was such an emotionally charged day; I can't even begin to describe it. Luckily, we did not have to wait long to find out the news. Out of about 150 students, Carl's name was called fourth. (Envelopes were given out in random order.) I was so distracted that I forgot my camera this morning, we bought a disposable one when we were there, and then I still didn't get a picture of Carl receiving the sealed envelope because I was such a blubbering mess. Carl had to open the envelope because I couldn't handle it. But, man, was I happy when he did!

The ceremony didn't start until noon, and the students had to be there at 9:00 am. It was truly one of the longest mornings EVER. To top it off, there was a lecture beforehand on the history of the school that lasted an hour. I don't think I even need to say more on that. It is really neat, though, that Carl attended the oldest public medical school (est. 1807) and is going to the hospital associated with Wash U where surgical pathology was invented. We are both so excited, and Lily too, although she may end up being a bit disappointed when she realizes that we aren't actually moving in with Grandma and Pop Pop:) Thanks for everyone's support during this entire process; we couldn't be happier with the outcome! Way to go, Carl!!! We're so proud of you!

And, Happy 60th Birthday to Carl's dad (the other Dr. Deetz)!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Dying Easter Eggs

Step 1: The hard-boiled eggs

Step 2: The initial dying process

Step 3: The marbleized finish

Before you assume that this process was as easy as 1-2-3, let me just fill you in on all the things that this "simple" project entailed:

• A highly choreographed 1 1/2 hours of combining precise measurements of hot water, vinegar, olive oil, and dyes at just the right time
• Lots of messy spills
• A very close call between Lily and a cup of hot water
• A very close call between Lily's head and the kitchen island
• Near heart failure from her father (see above two)
• 2 tantrums, with tears
• 2 cracked eggs (not bad!)
• Lots of smiles, giggles, and fun in between

So, it wasn't all stressful, but it sure wasn't an easy project to tackle with a two-year-old! Despite the difficulty, it just seems necessary to have these family holiday experiences; if my parents did it for us when we were growing up, I guess I have to too!

Community Easter Egg Hunt

Not the most aggressive huntress

Some genius decided to fill the thousands of Easter eggs at our community Easter Egg Hunt with little slips of paper that said what prize the children had to claim - from ONE table. Despite the crowd, I was bound and determined to get that Easter pencil:)

Breakfast with the Easter Bunny

Yeah, so where's this bunny everyone's been talking about? I'm not amused.

Ohhhh....balloon animals.

On second thought, let's ditch the bunny and get some more food, dad.

Friday Game Night

Ryan and Ingrid take a moment to meditate about their next move.

Carl can't believe his sister beat him in Monopoly.

The Banker

Fun afternoon at the park

All smiles

Such a big girl!

Makin' Grape Soup

Playtime with mommy and daddy

Whats you talkin' bout?

Just some recent commentary by our talkative two-year-old...

Last Sunday, we had an Open House. As we were preparing the house and turning on all the lights, Lily contributed by turning on the light to her play kitchen. Then, as we were leaving to go to lunch, Lily strutted down the sidewalk and said, "Okay, let's go to our new house." No hesitations or reservations there!

We were discussing the Open House later while she was taking a bath, and she said, "They come in all shapes, colors and sizes." It didn't make much sense, but it sure made us laugh!

Lily often sings or recites nursery rhymes in the bathtub (and honestly does this through a good portion of the day). As she was demonstrating her vocal talents a couple nights ago, she could be heard saying, "Great job singing, Shampoo. High five!" She's just so supportive of her hygiene products.

We ran out of vitamins earlier in the week, and I forgot to get more when I went to the grocery store. Lily expressed her disappointment by mumbling, "Bummer."

I had to go downstairs to get something last night, and I told Lily to count to 10, and I would be back by the time she got to 10. Mind you, she has known how to count to 10 for quite some time, but she exclaimed, "1, 3, 5, 10!" with smiling eyes.

We've had a little delay in potty training just because we have so much going on right now; I'd like to wait until I'm not working and things are a bit more settled in our lives. Lily shows some signs of readiness (that I'm choosing to ignore for the time being), two of them being the awareness of the urge to go and awareness when she has gone. While we were at the library last week, she shouted, "Mommy! I peed! I peed!" I tried to disguise my embarrassment and quietly told her that we would go change her diaper.

You know those times when you're listening to your child play in another room, and it becomes much too quiet? This happened the other day, and I called her name. She called back, "I'm just readin' a book, mom." To her credit, she was. I just found it amusing that she knew exactly why I was calling her name. As a side, Carl and I are increasingly being referred to as just plain "dad" and "mom" which sounds so funny to me coming from our little munchkin.

My favorite Lily moment recently was when Lily stood at the door and told me that she would be right back. She then said, "I gotta turn yourself around." She then closed the door, and I could hear her singing, twirling and clapping from the other side, "You turn yourself around and that's what it's all about". She followed up by opening the door and reporting to me that she had turned herself around. If it were only that easy.... :)

Playdate with Aunt Angela

Who's having more fun here?

Tickle monster!

Story time

End of story time...oh, no...time for bed!

Hugs before bed


We got a surprise visit from Aunt Angela last night. My sister, Suzanne, is taking her poli sci class to DC for an extended weekend, and they had an extra ticket, so Angela jumped at the chance to visit our nation's capitol. Angela took an evening train to Baltimore so we had a chance to spend the night together. It was all too short, but Angela had to be back in DC this morning for some fun sight-seeing. Thanks for the visit, Aunt Angela! We miss you!!

I think that everyone could use some optimism in their lives, and what better symbol than a rainbow (a double rainbow actually)? This one goes out to Lainey and family.

Game, Set, Match

It's hard to believe that Match Day is right around the corner. We have been waiting for sooo long for this day, and we have finally made it to the home stretch. The applications began this past summer, interviews in the fall and winter, and then the big wait for the actual day in March. As we've come to find, this process is truly a game, hopefully one we have played well. As you know, we chose all midwest programs, except for Johns Hopkins and U of Maryland here. Since the midwest is where we ultimately want to be, we ranked the midwest programs higher than the two here. This resulted in a weird rank list, with Johns Hopkins as a "back up" school.

Ultimately, two programs stood out for Carl in the interview process: Wash U and Iowa. Both have extremely reputable programs with outstanding residents and attendings. Carl definitely liked these programs the best, and they seemed to suit him well. Of course, nothing is guaranteed, but we remain confident that we will end up in one of these two programs. This has eased the stress of Match Day considerably. We really feel like we are in a win-win situation because both of these programs have aspects that make them highly desirable to us.

Wash U. offers the huge draw of being in St. Louis, with my family and a lot of friends. Also, since I grew up there, it would not be as much of a transition process because I know the area and so does Carl as a result of so many trips there. Not to mention that I have found a preschool program there that I would be very happy to have Lily attend (not a small feat).

Iowa has different positives. Since we would be in a small town, Carl's commute would be cut down considerably. We think that we could get more bang for our buck in the housing market too. But probably the greatest perk at Iowa is that the (family) health benefits, in a word, ROCK. Iowa City is only about 2 1/2 hours from Carl's mom, 4 hours from my family, and a similar distance to other relatives as St. Louis would be. Not too bad (and certainly a big improvement from our current situation).

So, we are not really as stressed about Match Day as you might think. It is still weird to only get 2 months notice as to where you are going to live for the next 4 or 5 years, but what are you going to do? You've just gotta roll with it. No matter where we end up, I'm sure we will learn to luv it.

Birth order of children

This was forwarded to me by my coworker, and I thought it was so funny, I just had to share.

Maternity clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.


Preparing for the birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother because you remember that last time breathing didn’t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.


The layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn’s clothes, color coordinate them and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?


Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress—a whimper, a frown—you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.


Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.


Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.


Going out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.


At home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.


Swallowing coins:

1st baby: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd baby: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd baby: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance.

A look back

About eight years ago, Carl turned to me and said, "I was thinking about going into an MD/PhD program; what do you think?" "Sure", I responded. A year later, we received the fateful news that Carl was accepted into the MD/PhD program at U of Maryland. And so began our 7-year odyssey. At the time, we were living in Crystal Lake, Illinois, and I was finishing my masters degree at NIU. We were also getting ready to get married in Australia and have a reception in St. Louis, all in the same month of our move to Maryland. I called Tori and told her the news of our impending move across the country, and she was kind enough (and crazy enough) to drive to Baltimore with me that Spring so that I could find an apartment for Carl and me. We drove up and aimlessly traveled around highway 695 (with a little side trip to Hersey Park). We went to various apartment complexes where most assumed we had an "alternative arrangement", and we finally settled on a place north of the city, just minutes from where Carl and I eventually chose to buy our house.

When we moved here, I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do for a living. While I figured it out, I took a part-time job as an adjunct faculty member at a community college and eventually landed a job as the Education Coordinator of a Head Start Program. This would prove to be an incredible learning experience, supervising about 35 teachers and overseeing 5 school locations with a total of over 200 children. It was a great job...until it wasn't...until I knew that if I didn't get out, I was going to break. I called Carl one day and simply said, "I'm quitting". At 4 months pregnant, this was no minor thing - to give up a good paying job with good benefits. But, always the supportive husband, Carl simply said, "No problem. You do whatever you need to do. We'll make it work." It is an incredible thing to be able to make decisions knowing that you have that kind of support. As luck and fate would have it, I found an amazing job that was so much better for my well-being that also included free daycare (which cannot be underestimated) at 6 months pregnant. On top of that, the director waited for me (doing the job of 2 by herself) until I came back from maternity leave. I have been blessed, and I am so grateful for my good fortune.

We have certainly had a few bumps along the way, but we got through them together, stronger for the experience. And now we embark on the next chapter of our lives, with an amazingly spunky 2-year-old, a sweet (if vocal) dog, and so many incredible memories of this place. Seven years is not a minor amount of time, and so we also leave behind friends, coworkers, neighbors (even doctors) that we will miss dearly. I think that I have been reluctant to give them a final date at work because I'm still a little in denial that this is really happening.

I know that there will be more memories to make in our next town, whatever that town may be (which I will address in a later post), but it is a little daunting to once again enter into uncharted territory, not knowing where I will be working, what school Lily will attend, what our house will be like, what our neighbors will be like...so many unknowns. However, I am reassured with the confidence in knowing that we've done it before, and we can do it again. Each experience that we have allows us the opportunity to learn and grow, and Carl and I will get through it together, just as we have always done, with the support of our families and our friends. I don't want to get too caught up in the past, and I won't address it again in this format, but I just wanted to take a moment to take a look back before moving on.

Dealing with loss

So, we made the ultimate decision today to do away with all pashus (pacifiers). We have been using them mainly at naptime and bedtime (only at home since they are not allowed in two-year-old rooms at school). However, we (meaning I) have been very lax about adhering to the strictly sleepy times rule. It just resulted in a lot of struggles for me in the morning, so half of the time it was brought downstairs, forgot about, brought to the car...

Anyway, we decided that today is the day. No reason for this day in particular really. I always told myself that we would never go beyond her second birthday with the pashus. But, her birthday falls at a difficult time. There is no way we could have driven as much as we did at Christmas time without the supreme comforting and calming tool. And then before we knew it, March has arrived.

When we came home from attempting to go to the park today (Lily was in a particularly stubborn mood and wanted nothing to do with swinging, sliding and such so we had to turn around and go home), we just decided it was now or never. We chose a method others have used with cutting the tops off of all the pashus so that they would not be pleasing to her. We let her see this happen this afternoon rather than having to deal with the trauma at bedtime. It resulted in anguish, agony, despair, hopelessness...and that was just from Carl and me. In all seriousness, I truly don't remember a time when I have had to sit by and watch her scream in heartache like we did today. (The only time that comes close was when she was around 10 months old and writhing in pain from cutting teeth before the Tylenol kicked in.) We remained nearby to comfort her if desired, but this was something we knew that she ultimately had to work through. After endlessly repeating, "I don't want them like that", she finally decided that she would like chocolate pudding, and we jumped at the opportunity to be able to provide some sort of solace. She had a fabulous time strutting down the aisles at the grocery store with the knowledge that she could pretty much get anything she wanted. After deciding on chocolate pudding, a donut, applesauce, grapes, and Cheetos as her comfort foods, we were on our way.

The funny thing that we have discovered with Lily is that if we allow a compromise in food at the beginning of a meal (such as chocolate pudding), she will often only eat a few bites of it and then eat the healthy food without any struggle at all. Tonight, she had some bites of pudding and a few Cheetos, and then promptly ate the rotisserie chicken, peas, saffron rice, applesauce, and grapes intended for dinner. She just likes her dessert before her dinner. (...just a sliver like her Grandma Meyer.)

As Carl stated, "We're going for the Triple Crown this year"...meaning 1) no more pashus, 2) potty-training, and 3) sleeping in her own bed every night. As if we didn't have enough blood pressure-raising things going on this year :)

It's official!

Child labor laws are surprisingly lax in Maryland.

We have slowly been introducing the idea of moving to Lily in the past couple of weeks. One day last week, I was bringing a box home from work, and Lily asked why. I explained to her that we were going to move to a new house so we have to pack up our things. I then asked her if she would like to move to a new house, and she said, "Yeah, Grandma & Pop Pop's". I tried to explain that we were going to move closer to them but not exactly with them, but the idea was lost on her. I think that the two weeks we spent with my parents in late October made a lasting impression.

This morning while she was taking a bath, we talked about going to a new school. I told her that we were going to go to a new school with new friends, so we would not go to the same school with her friends now. (Four out of the five other children in her class have been with her since she was three months old, so this is heartbreaking even for me.) I asked her if it would be okay to go to a new school with new friends, and Lily responded with, "Yeah. Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream." That's my laissez-faire girl.