New game plan

On Tuesday night, Carl and I were afforded an hour of uninterrupted time to talk while Aunt Ingrid took care of Lily. Being of sound body and mind (most of the time), we figured we could come up with a strategy to help reduce the incidence of whining in our little one. Since I work with little ones (and talk with their families on a daily basis), I have a pretty good idea of what is typical for each age. We determined that Lily is not excessively tantrumy for her age, but that finding does not help in and of itself, it only frames the problem.

Ultimately, we decided that Lily that has too many choices throughout the day which can be overwhelming and lead to meltdowns. We chose to target mealtimes first since they have become a major time of contention lately. In the mornings, we would come downstairs and ask her what she wants for breakfast. Stepping back from the situation, I can see how overwhelming this simple question can be. There's cereal (different kinds of hot & cold), eggs, toast, bagels, waffles, pancakes, different fruits, yogurt, cottage cheese, and that's just some of the options that we would want her to choose. But, really, how would she know that ice cream, gummies, and chips are not viable options for breakfast? She was just providing an answer to a question. They are, after all, food items.

So, no surprise, the problem with Lily's behavior is really a problem with our approach as parents. The new strategy is to come downstairs and tell her what is for breakfast that morning. We have been doing this for only two days, but are two for two, so we're pretty excited. This morning, cold cereal was on the menu. At first she said that she didn't want it, but I went ahead and poured a bowl for each of us, sat down, and she dug right in and ate three bowls!!! This is a major victory, where ultimately everyone wins. And finally, we had a breakfast without a major meltdown!

I'm fully aware that this is not going to eliminate the tantrums all together, but the goal was to reduce them, and I think (hope) we are going to achieve that. To follow up with this idea, we have made a weekly menu board (pictured above) where we will put pictures of foods so that she can see what we are having for the week (starting with breakfast only). Eventually, I anticipate that she will be the one choosing the menu for the week which is what we want. We want her to be able to make healthy food choices on her own without being overwhelmed by the options. We'll see how it goes, but we're happy with a successful start.

The second part of our plan is to engage her in more active, physical play at night. She is such a rough-and-tumble girl. She loves it when we get on the floor and wrestle around with plenty of chasing, tickling, and giggling. This is the harder of the two adjustments for me since I am tired after a full day of working and really just want to sit and relax. But, I'm going to make a concerted effort in order to have more pleasant and enjoyable nights with Lily.

So, there it is. Our game plan. Don't bring problems without solutions, right?