Happy birthday, Lily

5 years old (with the love of her life)

Five years ago, Carl and I made a commitment to each other and to Lily at her Naming Ceremony that we reaffirm today and every day. The following is an excerpt from her ceremony.

[Officiant] To be a parent forces you to recognize that you are no longer a child. Claiming adulthood, we look at our children and see ourselves. We feel the temptation to help them succeed where we have failed. But as much as we seek to make them like us, we cannot. What we can do is see that they do their best. And as they grow, they will in turn be pushing us to grow with them. This we can do, if we love them not for who they may become, but for who they are—unique and special.

Parenthood is the ultimate expression and the severest test of a marriage. The greatest act of love parents have to give their children is the love they express for one another. The interactions between a mother and father, husband and wife, form the web of the relationship that serves as the child's nest. Children learn about men and women, communication, caring, respect, feelings, conflict, and love by watching their parents.

[Carl]: I, Carl, commit myself to Kathleen as her partner, promising to support her as a mother. I give myself to my daughter as her father, promising to act out of love for her, respecting and supporting her uniqueness, and eliciting the best from her.

[Kathleen]: I, Kathleen, commit myself to Carl as his partner, promising to support him as a father. I give myself to my daughter as her mother, promising to act out of love for her, respecting and supporting her uniqueness, and eliciting the best from her.

[Officiant]: This community gathered here will be especially important to this child. We are her people. She will look among us for companionship and leadership and to all of us for support. By watching us, she will learn how life works. She will know the way human society works by how we create our relationships here.

[Extended family]: We pledge to support this child, to respect her uniqueness, and to elicit the best from her and this family.

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My greatest wish is that Lily feels the unwavering love we feel for her and knows that we are always here to support her so that she may be free to explore, without fear of failure or rejection, all the paths that will lead to the discovery of her truest self and enable her to embrace her own uniqueness. We love you, our one and only Lily.