Bittersweet

My doctor's appointment today was a mix of good and not-so-good news. The good news is that my bloodwork came back, and everything looks really good. In fact, it was too good. My doctor is no longer worried in the least about preeclampsia. When laying on my side, my blood pressure was 117/70 today. I'm almost sure that I've never had numbers that good. While I am certainly happy to be doing well, this virtually took early induction off the table. And while I certainly understand the doctor's decision, it is a bit disappointing.

At this point, he won't consider anything before 39 weeks. Wednesday, the 21st, was the very earliest that he would induce. However, because Angela's wedding is on Friday, the 23rd, I'm definitely not going to schedule an induction that would guarantee that I would be in the hospital for the wedding. Then we have to skip over the weekend, and that puts us at Monday, the 26th, a whopping one day before my due date. Now I know that I should be happy about being able to have the baby before my due date at all, especially in light of Lily's lengthened gestation time, but I kind of had my hopes up to go earlier. And such is life.

Of course, there is a small possibility that I could go on my own. I was surprised to find out today that I am now dilated 3 cm. However, this ultimately doesn't mean anything as I could be dilated 3 cm for 3 weeks without going into labor. While it would be exciting to actually go into labor on my own, it also means that I could go into labor next week and again end up being in the hospital for the wedding.

At this point, I think I have gone over every possibility in my head. No matter how you slice or dice it, it comes down to the fact that we do not have control over this process, and I have to deal with the fact that I can't plan out the details in advance. Above anything else, I am eternally grateful for this baby, and whenever he decides to make his entrance into the world will be one of the greatest days of my life - period.